It was one of THOSE days

Today was one of THOSE days. Spring has finally sprung in NW CT. The air was dry with temps in the 70's and the sun was glorius. It was one of those top 10 days of the year; the kind of day I wait in anticipation for all winter long. I have been trying to be kind to myself the past couple of weeks. It should have been incredible.

But it was not...I felt like hell. Or death warmed over. Or death in hell? I don't know but it was unpleasant. 

Unfortunately I also had one of those moments. You  know the ones I mean? The "Screw this! I am tired of doing all the right things and still feeling like crap!" Not quite a why me moment-I really don't have those any more. I have learned to answer that question with, "Cuz shit happens that is why" and leave it at that, thankfully. But the "screw it," better known as a temper tantrum-those I still have once in a while and have not seemed to be able to kick to the curb completely.

I would like to say that was then end of it but, alas...that would be a lie. Instead I went to the store and put 3 things in my little basket that I have kept off limits for myself for a very long time: cafeinated soda, red licorice (also known as corn syrup and artificial everything) and a cheese product covered GMO corn chip "thing" that is another un-food, if truth be told.

Within a half hour of ingesting the caffeine and red stuff I actually felt better. I am not sure if that was a good thing or not. I try so hard not to use the crutch that this kind of thing can become and I know I won't make it a habit but it is still hard knowing it helped-even if just for a small window of time. I will probably pay dearly tomorrow but today I felt good for quite some time and still do at almost midnight.